In every nook and cranny of the universe, I can find something that will make me question and love all over again–a new brick to build my strong, serene, and wonderful home. In the words of Oliver herself, “it was everything that was needed, when everything was needed.” Upstream is an outstretched hand that gives me the courage to indulge in this displacement and discover myself. Upstream was just the right book at just the right time. “If this was lost, let us all be lost always.” It gives me hope that even though I don’t have everything figured out right now, if I follow my heart and instinct, I can create my own path to the contentment Oliver found and what I’ve been searching for. The essays after “Upstream” lovingly tell how Oliver’s role models and life experiences shape her choices, influence her writing, and construct her home.

“I had to go out into the world and see it and hear it and react to it, before I knew at all who I was, what I was, what I wanted to be.” Am I doing this out of force or want? Am I doing this because everyone else is? Who am I to myself? Who do I want to be? I’m slowly coming to terms with my identity, especially since I am about to age out of my teenagerhood. I am at a strange point in life where I am constantly reexamining what I’ve always known and what I’ve always liked. Little by little, her intuition molded into understanding which bloomed into sweet devotion–an acceptance of the pursuit, so to say. Though she was lost, she found beauty in the discord and followed the rocky path upstream with grace. She reflects on being young and feeling compelled to follow the invisible and enticing forces of the natural world. Her first essay, “Upstream,” is my favorite. Upstream is a beautiful love letter by Oliver dedicated to the influences that shaped her–the natural environment, literary figures, and her home town. I even want “I ❤️ Mary Oliver” tattooed across my chest! That’s how much I admire her.

This is the first piece by Mary Oliver I’ve read, and I will surely read more. I feel like I’m standing beside her in the sunlight, watching the foxes, walking in the cold creek water, or breathing in the ocean’s salty air while fishing. Her attention to detail is exquisite and endlessly captivating. Oliver writes like a true artist–each page is expertly sculpted and sprinkled with profound detail. Questions and answers are binded in 175 pages, provoking philosophical thought about ourselves and our place in this world. Upstream: Selected Essays by Mary Oliver is the missing clue to an adventurer’s quest.

Upstream selected essays